We seem to be in unprecedented times with Mental Health issues. Not only are we coping with all that the Covid Pandemic brought, but it has been reported that record numbers of children and adults sought help over the last few years with problems such as anxiety, depression and eating disorders. The sharp rise that began after the first lockdown in March 2020 declared that the NHS was struggling to cope with the demand.
The mental health crisis is likely to get worse rather than better and since the pandemic, so not only do we have to deal with psychological abuse from our partners, but outside events such as the chances of World War 3, rising living costs that seem to be spiralling out of control and whatever else appears on our TV screens to keep us living in confusion and fear.
So when you are living in such a chaotic world, how do you cope and keep your mental health in check?
What mechanisms do you have in place for coping with your immediate worries, stress and fears? How do you break free from the cycle and clear your mind?
One thing I found that helped me with my mental health difficulties and recovering from abuse, has been reading about how others cope. Each of us has a unique experience and our traumas, but, especially with narcissistic abuse, there are many commonalities.
Once I discovered that I was not alone in having suffered many years of what is now classed as domestic violence, I felt relieved to know it wasn’t just me, I wasn’t to blame, I had been targeted. I felt validated and able to start the long haul of self-recovery and self-regard. My confidence and esteem had sunk to an all-time low and I felt that everything that went wrong was my fault.
Now I am more discerning as to what I take ownership of going forward. When you have been victimised by an abuser, a narcissist, or a stalker, it most definitely isn’t your fault. You are probably an empathic person who deeply cares about helping others and their happiness. In recovery from abuse, it is important to make use of those strengths.
Even after my separation and divorce, I was being psychologically, emotionally and financially abused as well as being stalked regularly. I now realise it was feelings of shame and guilt that stopped me from talking about this and as a result struggled to manage my mental health as a consequence. When I finally recognised what had happened, I had the insight as to how I could behave differently in the future.
Now I speak out about all my past experiences and this helps me to realise the part I can play in helping others. Some of the incidents may be considered minor but they contributed to my overall feelings of unworthiness.
Simple things like not having your own bank account or being the main earner in the house but having no say in how your earnings are spent. All contribute to the unworthiness.
If you want to build your confidence then my 1-2-1 sessions will help you make a difference. Our mental health is precious and learning techniques and having a safe space to talk is vital for recovery.
When you are in a narcissistic controlling relationship it is very easy to think your mind has gone, once you recognise that it hasn't then it is just the situation you are in, you get then get stronger and more in control of your mental health in your recovery journey.
Book a free 15 minute consultation with me and get started on taking back control of your life. https://www.withoutprejudice.info/coaching