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How are you?

How are you all doing? I thought I would give you a quick update on how my recovery is going and what’s happening in my new life. I expect many of you are like me and there are good times and not so good times. This month has been a mix of just that. I have been busy with my day job which always takes first place in the priorities as it pays the bills! I enjoy meeting new people as part of my work and this has been a great pleasure this month. As I have done this for many years now I am also in my comfort zone and happiest thinking of how I can find solutions to their problems. It is a bit strange that I do not yet manage this in my home life and the road of recovery. Many days are just fine and then, seemingly out of the blue, I nosedive into a dark place and lack the vision to get out. Admittedly it is a lot less frequent than it was and I am gradually learning what the triggers are and how to cope. This seems to be just another lasting legacy of the life I used to lead. Whether it will ever be over I don’t know, but I did want to warn you all that these times do come to haunt us. The good news is that they go as well. One strategy I have found that works is to sit down and take time to examine your feelings and what the possible triggers are rather than ignoring them or trying to push through the feelings. For me, that seems to create a tidal wave rather than peace. I have bought myself a special notebook to mark down these times and record the whys. I put down how I’m feeling and why I think I feel that way. I also make a habit of listing what I have achieved over the last days and weeks and how I feel on the good days. This quickly reminds me that there are better times and who I am. When I was in my abusive relationship, I often forgot who I was completely and so it is good to rebuild and remind myself regularly of exactly who I am now.

One reason that the black clouds are lurking may be the impending launch of my book. I am pleased to say that ‘Without Prejudice’ is now available as an ebook and paperback on my website I am proud of myself for having got to publication, but I also think that maybe where some fear is creeping in. The fear that I may be discovered by William or one of his flying monkeys makes my confidence disappear down the nearest rabbit hole. However, even saying this and admitting it to myself and you help me to deal with that. It is but a small challenge compared to some of the past but still has such a powerful hold over me. Plans for my first retreat and makeover next February are going well and I have some exciting ideas to help kickstart our new selves and next adventures. It will be lovely to meet some of you face to face and see how I can help you with your recovery. There are very limited spaces, so do get in touch if you're considering it and I’ll reserve a spot for you. I’ll be back in touch next month as I have a bit of an adventure going on then. I hope it is something that will help me to help you and bring some new ideas to the recovery table! Take care of yourselves, remember to record all the value and worth you have in the world and talk again soon.

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