This only became a special day for me once Connor could mark it by himself. According to William, the first Mothers day, which would be special for many people, was no big deal to him. On reflection, I remember I always organised cards and gifts for his family. Why would I think that he would arrange for our son to give me a gift or special card on Mother’s Day? Once again, I didn’t spot the potential red flag of a lack of recognition for the special people in my narcissist’s life. It was the same for Christmas and Birthdays; he was never interested in sending a card, let alone writing a message inside it. As with many other things, I unwittingly blamed myself. I thought it must be different in these parts, and it was me who was attention-seeking and seeking recognition. I decided my expectations were probably too great. However, once Connor was at nursery and then school, he always came home with a little something for me to mark these special days.
Now that I realise I was with a narcissist, do I see these areas where William took every opportunity not to value me? It was more than made up for by Connor made up, and two of the exceptional Mother’s days spring to mind. The first was being woken at about 6am by my beaming little boy aged about 5 carrying a plate of breakfast. It appeared to be a whole can of spaghetti on a piece of toast! Eagerly Connor waited for me to sit up in bed and tuck in. I did and commented it was a little cool. He acknowledged that he had put it in the microwave (in the can!) and because it had sparked, he thought he had better take it out a quick. I did my best not to choke while I laughed! The other occasion was the little wrapped box of love he brought home from school. It was beautifully decorated with his own drawings and tied up with a tag. The tag read…..
A box of love
This is a very special gift that you can never see
The reason it’s so special is it’s just for you from me
Whenever you are happy or even feeling blue
You only have to hold this gift and know I think of you
You never can unwrap it; please leave the ribbon tied
Just hold the box close to your heart
It’s filled with love inside x
There have been many others, all of which warm my heart when I get such unconditional love, but this one I keep beside my bed to this day. Recently I sent him a ‘Box of Love’ as a present too!
Don’t let the narcissist in your relationship steal these beautiful moments from you, as they are the real wealth!